18 January 2007

Call Me Smithy


I have a confession to make. I got married last summer. And, even worse, since the day of the wedding, I've been cheating right and left. That is how I feel about my comps list -- like it's this pain-in-the-ass, constantly jealous, nagging husband. Oh, I justify my cheating -- it's just this once, it's not hurting anybody, how will it ever know? Of course I love my list, but I feel smothered! Friends, family, meals, exercise, sleep, sudoku, movies, crafts, I cheat quite freely. But in the end, I feel guilty every second of every day that I'm not spending with it. And, really, when was the last nice thing it ever did for me? It didn't even notice my new haircut last month! Just more guilt for spending money I should have spent on books to feed its insatiable appetite.

This is all by way of background to a fantastic evening last night at my first metalsmithing class. (Yes, I know. The glamour train that is my life never stops.) It was fantastic largely because it was three straight hours in which the comps list and any guilt related to it never even entered my mind. It is amazing what several repetitions of the phrase "this could cut off your fingers" and "this torch burns at 1500 degrees" will do for focusing your concentration, especially when you're about to wield the torch or the finger-cutting machinery. Even more especially if you're as prone as I am to, you know, actually cutting off your fingers or burning yourself regularly. I stub my toes every morning on a bookshelf in our hallway. Every morning. So learning to anneal (the wussier version of forging, used on non-ferrous metals...look at all my terminology!), and cut and saw thick pieces of copper was the perfect meditative escape. In Bridget Jones persona for a moment: Am metalsmithing goddess. Can crystallize grains of metal alloy with mental powers alone. Will procure serious yet adorable blacksmithing apron and someday run own forge filled with shirtless, muscled employees.

OK, I'm back. The basic point -- learning new things is awesome. Extra points for any element of danger. Also, the craft center at the university, with its many crafty classes at reasonable prices, is the best thing ever. I return to my unhappy marriage with at least the knowledge that I will be filing divorce papers in just a few more months. I've had my eye on a hot dissertation topic that I think could definitely provide years worth of guilt and recriminations. I'll invite you all to that wedding, I promise.

3 comments:

A said...

A+ on your plus on your Bridget Jones! Or should I say Jonesie.

Rachel said...

definitely. :D Thanks for the laugh! that was spot on. And the feeling guilty/cheating analogy. I still feel like that. And I don't even have to worry about it!

Dolce Vita said...

I love the Jones moment!

It is nice to know others experience the guilt too. And you put it just right. Sometimes I love my dis topic and sometimes it feels like an overwhelming burden (now I understand the "ball and chain" metaphore). Right now we're spending a lot of time together and we're not getting along. It is rough.